There are so many days that I feel like a time bomb with a very short fuse. I can't handle the fighting, whining, and endless needs. I want to enjoy my children but feel like it takes more effort and energy than I have.
So all you moms out there, what are your tips on how to deal with the stresses of motherhood? How do you keep from going ballistic on your kids? How do you keep a happy and positive environment in your home when you just want to get away from home?
Just curious.
I think you may wonder why I'm commenting after a few conversations we've had... you know I'm hardly one to be able to give advice in this department! However, a few days ago Nathan was having one of his raging tantrums that never end and I was stuck in the car with him for a while. Even though I felt slightly insane, I started singing hymns and primary songs over the screaming. It still took 10-15 minutes for him to quit screaming but when he stopped he asked in a fairly normal voice if I would sing a certain song. He was quiet the rest of the way home! So I guess my point is, maybe take an emotional step back from whatever is going on and either count (which doesn't always work for me, but it may for some) or sing a church song in your head or out loud... I think I'm going to try this the next time I'm about to lose my temper at home... becuase I definitely know how you feel! Sometimes after the kids are in bed I just want to break down because it was so awful. However, it seems children at this age are very forgiving and whenever I apologize they are quick to hug me and move on. I don't think they realize just how much they try our patience, they're just being themselves... Their own, adorable, incredibly frustrating selves. Anyway, this is super rambly, but I just wanted to let you know that I've been there! Oh I have definitely been there.
ReplyDeleteoh, man--don't I wish I knew!
ReplyDeleteI guess the only thing that keeps me going sometimes is knowing that horrible, crazy low points never last forever. Pretty soon you'll be on an upswing and forget why you were so stressed in the first place. At least that's what always seems to happen over here. I guess Heavenly Father likes to test my breaking point :)
And as far as not going ballistic--I haven't figured that out yet, but it always seems to help to just back off my expectations and control for a bit. So what if they end up watching ANOTHER movie, or eating the entire package of goldfish instead of dinner, or EVERY box of toys is unloaded on their bedroom floor, or I don't get the laundry folded till days later --I (and hopefully THEY) will get over it.
Or, if you're really just ready to pack up and leave you guys could always come up here to visit, you're welcome any time!
I have a couple suggestions of things that work in our house. One is similar to Megan's comment. I have found that there is a better atmosphere when I have some primary songs playing softly in the house, especially on those hard days.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I LOVE doing reward charts! I think rewarding good behavior really makes a difference. When my kids were about the same age as yours I did a simple reward system where they earned a token. (I made a bunch of fun shapes and laminated them & put velcro on the back.) They stuck them on our reward chart. You can give a reward for helping out, having a good attitude (especially when you know they've worked at it), not fighting when they normally would, etc. When they get 10 tokens they get to pick a prize! We did going to the park, a special treat, special mommy time, etc. Use whatever would motivate your kids!
I have a more complicated one now that I LOVE for older kids (over age 5), but it could be adapted for younger ones with some thought...
Sorry this is so long, but I love sharing what's worked for us! It's not perfect here, and I still have those CRAZY days I look forward to bedtime a little too much. I also think that all moms feel like this at times. Good luck!
Sorry, but I thought of something else I do... When my younger kids outgrew nap time, I implemented "quiet time". They have to stay in their own room and do quiet activities like coloring, puzzles, playing with toys, looking at books. I would do it for 1-1/2 hours, similar to how long nap time lasts. THIS IS MOMMY'S TIME! I read, work on a project, read scriptures or the ensign, take a nap on the hard days, whatever. But, NO CLEANING! This seriously saves me most days!!
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